I’ve lived in Erzurum for four months now but this was my first weekend where I was officially (or I suppose I don’t really know if that’s accurate) the only American in the city. Korey and Elizabeth took off for break on Friday. Emily is visiting another Fulbrighter a few hours away before returning Monday to teach our remaining 8 hours before we take off for break as well. I imagined this weekend would be full of final lesson planing and preliminary packing but instead it was full of reminders of the hospitality that made me fall in love with Turkey in the first place.
I don’t believe that I announced my singular status this weekend to many people but the news seemed to spread quickly amongst my acquaintances here that I was “alone” and should be duly taken care of. It’s Sunday afternoon around 2 pm and this is the first moment I’ve had to myself since Friday afternoon. And I’m waiting for a text from Zeynep, a student in the English Language Faculty who is (ready for this?) the daughter of Elizabeth’s boyfriend’s mother’s patient’s friend and has therefore acted like a member of the family. She is coming over to make dinner and then join me to see The Hobbit at the mall. I spent Friday night with a fellow teacher who had me over her house to meet her sister and roommate and drink wine and watch music videos. She is the only other woman at school who drinks and we had been talking about having a sleepover since I first arrived but finally scheduled it for the last night of the term. I got up early the next morning to ski with one of my doctor students and his family in Konakli, about 30 minutes away. I was the coldest I have ever been in my life but the view from the top of the ski lift was worth it; the mountains were so completely white, they looked like an ocean. I had dinner with Dr. Mehmet and his three children and they then dropped me off at the mall where I met fellow teacher and shopaholic, Nermin. We shopped and we then went to her house to watch “The Wedding Planner”, gossip, drink tea and eat chickpeas. I was once again extremely grateful for how warm the apartments are kept here. I know I’m not “thinking globally” when I’m saying this but when it’s 10+ degrees below zero, you are fine with some smog from all the burning coal if it means a warm apartment. This morning I had breakfast with the women from my doctors’ class at Dr. Zeliha’s home. I don’t know how she manages a life as a full time doctor with three small children where she can still invite me over for a delicious spread of homemade bread, cheese, olives and eggs at ten in the morning.
This weekend reminded me of one of my first weekends here, when I was shuffled from person to person and home to home. There was something distinctly more comfortable and pleasant about this weekend compared to those first ones though. Instead of fielding questions about why I chose to come to Erzurum and what I know about Turkish politics, I was asked much more personal ones like if I would see my sister when I went home and how my skiing skills were coming along. I am more comfortable as well. Even though I’m still learning about Turkey and about myself with each interaction, I am not as googly-eyed. I think I am actually taking in more since I have a bank of basic knowledge. From simple things like being able to distinguish a male from a female name when someone tells me the name of their child to knowing that helva is usually store-bought, not homemade, to more substantial knowledge like what someone is doing when they excuse themselves to the corner to pray, I can ask more competent questions and have deeper conversations. This weekend was a lovely reminder of that. Even knowing a few proper phrases to adequately thank your host for their hospitality can make a big difference. I constantly say thank you” in Turkish to express my gratitude but this surprisingly and unfortunately does not translate very well. Instead, when someone feeds you, you should say what translates as “health to your hands” or just “may God bless your family.” When someone visits, you wish them health to their feet. When someone drives you in their new car, you congratulate them on their purchase. I heard myself using these phrases (even if still awkwardly in my Turk-English) and I could tell that it mattered-I could thank them in a way that meant something to both them and me.
These feelings harken me back to a conversation I had with Salih, the husband of one of my professor’s at CUA, on the Red Line during one of my commutes back to Catholic from Georgetown sometime last year. Salih is the reason I’m in Erzurum right now. He hooked me up with his friend who organized the trips to Turkey last summer, my first experience in the country. He further inspired me to take Turkish and apply for the Fulbright. Anyway, he was telling me that he had started taking Arabic classes and was telling me about his struggles with learning the new alphabet. I asked him why he chose to take on another language when he already speaks three. He told me it was necessary for his studies in comparative religion but also cited a proverb (was it Turkish? was it Arabic? I can’t remember) that said something along the lines that when you study a language, your soul grows. I liked the phrase then. I think I understand it now. Disregarding the literal meaning of language for a second, I do believe that with the greater understanding of Erzurum, of Turkish culture, and of Islam that I’ve gained these past few months, my soul has grown. I’ve been able to connect with people on a deeper level. Turkish hospitality has remained the same, the way I’m able to receive it has changed. And I’m very grateful for that!
What skiing on the coldest place on Earth looks like.
